Very Well Done!
The sprites were expertly animated, the sound fx were spot on, the music was great, the pacing was well timed and the story was interesting. This shows an obvious dedication to Flash sprite animation. Your effort and patience really shows. EXCELLENT JOB! I look forward to the next installment!
Whoooa!! Thanks man!!!
You May Not Be Proud Of This ...
... but I think it's pretty damn good! It had me laughing out loud. Keep cranking out the gold! Great job!
thank you this is great!i thought it would suck!
Some Tips
WRITING - If your toons are going to rely on written English text to tell the story, the spelling and grammar should be flawless so it doesn't become a distraction. English may not be your first language (French?) so see if you can hook up with someone who speaks and writes fluent English. They can take care of any corrections for you.
SOUND - There's no way this toon should have been even close to 3megs. Learn to optimize your sound. There's a tutorial here on NG that can help you with that. This toon would also have benefited from sound fx. They would have made the fight scenes somewhat exciting.
On the whole, this isn't bad work for a beginner. I look forward to seeing you improve in the future! Good luck!
Yes my first language is french i did not see any spelling mistake..... i dont have anysound effects i dont no how to supress file size im not a beginner...i was just tired it was 3 am....see ya
It's Alright
The animation was smooth, the sound was spot on and the graphics were good for a stick movie. I was expecting something a little different from the punchline, though.
*SPOILER WARNING - DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS MESSAGE IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE CARTOON*
I thought you'd throw in a bit of the unexpected and have the guy with the fishing pole say something like, "WOO-HOO! I caught myself a TWENTY!" As the poor (and a little dense) bastard reaches over with one hand while still holding the pole, he loses his balance and also falls off the cliff.
Overall, short and to the point. Not a bad job!
thanks, Im glad you enjoyed it.
Some Tips On Character Drawing
THUMBS - Be mindful of thumb placement. Everyone except Calbon & Fone has their thumbs on the wrong side of their hands at one point or another. Make quick refs to your hands as you draw your figures, that should clear it up quickly. Believe it or not, this is a common problem with a lot of beginning artists.
STIFFNESS - Your characters look too stiff. I understand all of their limbs have been made so you can tween them easily, but you lose a natural look to them when you do that. This can be fixed two ways:
1) When drawing the torso, slope the shoulders down and away from the neck. Put the arms in the layers below the torso layer. This will keep the arms a good distance from the neck so your figures won't look so bunched up.
2) Work on some frame-by-frame animations for the action sequences where the limbs are a natural part of the body and it may look more smooth and comfortable.
Overall, this is a pretty good effort. The music works and sounds great. Your background elements aren't too shabby and the storyline is okay. I hope these tips help in future projects! Best of luck to you! Cheers!
Once again doc, I love your reviews and advice...
I acctualy bought 1 anatomy book 5 min ago and a book on 'mecha manga'
so thanks again, expect 10x better from me!
I appreciate it....
I Voted Zero OnThis One ...
... because you already uploaded the exact same thing as "True Gamer". It survived, and rightfully so because it showed talent and effort (I voted 3 on it), so why did you feel the need to upload it again? That's unnecessarily hogging up NG's bandwidth
yeah thanks i knew that but i have some people say they didn't know to click the controller....and some blamminators didn't even give it a chance...so i just though it deserved another one
Practice & Study
From the looks of this piece, you need to learn a bit more about Flash and practice your art and animation. It's too choppy and the file size was MUCH too big for what we see. Learn how to optimize your sound and try not to use gradients so much - those are the two major culprits who are bogging down your file size.
Check out the various slick stick figure toons on NG (Xiao Xiao, Joe Zombie, -The Pan-) and study them. What is it you're missing? Keep working at it. As long as you dedicate the time, put forth the effort and are honest with yourself, you'll do fine. Good luck!
Thanks. Your much more helpful than the other reviewers. I know my animation is not great but I'm still learning and nobody else seems to give a shit.
Some Tips
SPRITES - if you're going to use sprites in a toon, see if you can find all of the animated steps in the walk and fighting cycles. Static sprites that don't show any movement are not visually exciting. It'll liven up the action A LOT!
SOUND - your music began to overlap onto other pieces and it became muddy. When using music, be sure to have it begin and end (either abruptly, fade out or segue) before moving on to the next piece. Sound effects would have enhanced the action along with frame-by-frame sprite animation.
BACKGROUNDS - I understand it may be a mystic spaceship they're on, but work on the interior design. Right now, having them stand inside a grey box is not visually appealing.
TEXT - do not place text at the VERY top of the screen because it gets lost. Bring it down a bit.
I hope this helps in your next project. I look forward to seeing you improve! Good luck!
thank you for those tips, i will take them in.
Not Much Of A Fan Of Sprites ...
... but you asked for a review, so here's a fair one. Though the sprites are already drawn for you, you still have to rip them from somewhere, put them in the proper sequence and get rid of any and all bounding boxes that encompass them. That takes some work so I admire your dedication and talent for being able to make a story with the characters as they're presented. Overall, the cartoon looks very good.
My only negative crit is your spelling and grammar. I understand that English is not your first language (Brazilian?) and your usage is far better than some Americans I know, but, if your cartoon is going to rely on text to tell the story, then the spelling and grammar should be perfect. Find someone who speaks and writes English well to help you correct your script. If you can't find anyone, you can always e-mail me (my address is in my profile). Also, you should leave the text boxes up a little longer so the average person can read them.
All in all, your cartoons are interesting. Fix the spelling and grammatical flaws and your work will really shine! Best of luck!
thanks dude, if i have troubles in the grammar i'll tell u, thanks a lot!
Good Stuff!
Now this is a good piece with a lot of effort put into it! I applaud your dedication! The SD style mecha was slick and spot on and the optimization of sound was expertly done! I also applaud the fact that you have a "quality control group" which is something many Flash projects would have benefited from here on NG before they were uploaded.
My only crit is that the edits are a bit too quick which makes certain scenes a little confusing. That little quibble in no way takes away from the overall look and feel of this piece. This is a job well done!
Gee... Thanks.
I had some limitation with synchronising the Music and the animation together. Since it is tough to comprimise 3000 frames of Animation at 30 FPS.
In dark of night, a flash of light, a werewolf howls, a monster growls, the village sleeps, the creature creeps, the scalpel stabs in Doc Monster Labs!
Age 54, Male
Freelance Cartoonist
Hard Knocks
Doc Monster Labs, NJ
Joined on 7/31/01
A Virus called ZERO 4 
(2003)Dr. Bob 
Falling For It 